Bald Spots in My Daughter's Hair [VIDEO]

The message came through on ClassDojo right before dismissal.

Her teachers noticed my daughter pulling at her side braids throughout the day. They were not sure why. She had not shown signs of discomfort. She had done well. They checked with other staff who had been around her, and everyone noticed the same thing.

By the time I read it, her bus was already pulling up.

As soon as she stepped off, she ran to me smiling and excited to see me. I pulled her hat off immediately and said, “Hey Auty. How was your day? I heard what happened in school. Are you okay?”

She did not answer with words, but she answered with joy.

When I lifted the hat, I saw one braid hanging loose. She immediately pulled the hat back down over her head.

We walked into the building together.

Halfway up the stairs, I took the hat off completely. She did not resist. I said, “Let me see your hair.” She knows what hair is. She lifted both hands and went straight to touching the loose braids on either side of her face. That is when I realized it was not just one. It was both!

I cried. A lot. Quietly at first. Then not so quietly. Because when I looked closer, really looked, I saw it. Not just loose hair. Not messy braids. Large bald spots. Not thinning. Not breakage. BALD.

My daughter is autistic and non verbal. She is in kindergarten. She attends public school in an AIMS program, and I genuinely appreciate her team. Her teachers, paras, and therapists are attentive and communicative. They noticed something was off. They checked with others. They told me immediately. That matters, especially when your child cannot come home and explain what happened.

But here is the part no one prepares you for as a parent, especially when your child cannot tell you what hurts, what happened, or why.

Not knowing is its own kind of pain.

The moment I saw those bald spots, my mind started racing.

Did she do this to herself

Was she overwhelmed

Was something irritating her scalp

Was it sensory

Was she in pain

Or did something happen that she cannot tell me about

I did not have answers.

And the hardest part was how many feelings existed at the same time.

I can be grateful for a responsive school team and still feel protective down to my bones.

I can trust the people around her and still feel unsettled.

I can know she is okay and still feel like I am unraveling.

The rest of that day felt heavy.

I kept replaying the moment on the staircase. Her hands going straight to her braids, like she was saying this, this is the problem.

And the part that messed with my head the most.

She was fine.

She was playful. Hungry. Relaxed. She wanted her snacks and her shows and her routine. She came home like it was a normal day, while I was holding evidence that something was not.

I cried in waves.

I cried while she ate.

I cried in the bathroom.

I cried while pretending not to cry.

I cried because I felt guilty crying in front of her.

I cried because I could not stop imagining her pulling and pulling, out of discomfort, stress, or something I still do not have words for.

I almost kept her home for the rest of the week.

Not because I had proof of anything, but because fear tries to regain control.

But life does not pause when you are scared.

I work. She needs routine. She needs structure. She needs her services. So I did what a lot of parents do when they are torn in half.

I sent her back and I watched everything.

That night, I could not even focus on fixing her hair because I was still stuck on why.

And then I realized this did not start at school.

The night before, she did something similar at home. She grabbed my hand and pressed it to the braid on the right side of her head. When I reached toward her hair and then pulled my hands back because I could not figure out what she needed, she became frustrated. She scratched my arms, screamed, and tried to pull my hands back toward her head, like she was saying no, this, fix this.

I was not refusing to help her. I just did not understand what the problem was.

My mind ran through everything in real time. I thought maybe it was her ears, an ear infection. A headache. A toothache. A neck cramp. An itch I could not see. Something internal she could not explain and I could not guess fast enough. And the more I paused and reassessed, the more agitated she became.

The braids were not new. They were not tight. She had been wearing that style for nearly a month without any issues, which is why it did not register as a hair problem in that moment. What felt like a random meltdown then now feels like an attempt to communicate something specific, something I did not yet have the context to understand.

This is the side of motherhood that does not show up in highlight reels.

The part where your child seems fine, but you are not.

The part where you are grateful and scared.

The part where you are trying to stay logical while your mind runs worst case scenarios on a loop.

Right now, I am doing what I can.

I am documenting dates and behaviors.

I am being gentle with her hair.

I am checking her scalp.

I am asking questions without accusing anyone of anything.

I am holding two truths at once. This could be self pulling, and I still want to be sure my child is safe.

But I will be honest about something else.

I do not just want her hair to grow back.

I want my peace to grow back too.

Because it is not just hair when it is your child.

It is not just hair when you do not have answers.

It is definitely not just hair when your child cannot tell you what happened.

Where I Am Now and Why I Am Opening This Conversation

If you have been through something similar, hair pulling, sudden bald spots, sensory related behaviors, or that disconnect where your child is okay but you are not, I would really appreciate hearing from you.

How did you help the hair grow back

Did you leave it alone or avoid styles

What gentle products actually helped

What conversations did you have with the school

What felt reasonable

What helped without making things tense

And how did you move on emotionally

Because I am still stuck on that staircase moment

Still sitting with the not knowing

Still fighting the urge to keep her close just so I can see everything with my own eyes

If you have been here, leave a comment.

No judgment. No perfect parent energy.

Just real parents helping each other figure it out.